Relationship Sacred Cows You Must Kill
Good morning Friend,
I trust you had a great weekend. Today, by God’s Grace, we will be going to the abattoir to do some heavy-duty slaughtering of some relationship sacred cows. Sacred cows are some age-old beliefs and opinions that people have held on to very superstitiously, which are fundamentally untrue and thereby hindering themselves from entering into higher and better realities.
1. We can’t date, cos we’re too close: This is one major scared cow that must die, especially among ladies. I tend to hear it more from ladies than guys and I’m not trying to be bias here trust me. For some reason, people just believe that the more you know about someone else, the less likely it would be to cultivate a very magical and romantic relationship with such a person.
When the guy meets you for the first time and sweeps you off your feet (usually because the floor is slippery and not so much because of his superior “sweeping” techniques) and acts all nice to you, gets you stuffs for Val on Wednesday, picks you up for dates in a ride and simply just releases the butterfly colony in your belly into a rapturous frenzy… if I were a lady, trust me I’ll be this close to falling for it as well, cos it can be very alluring… but,
Life decisions, especially ones as profoundly important as the person you will be spending the rest of your life with aren’t made in darkness (ignorance, naivety and assumptions) but in Light (Wisdom, Knowledge and Understanding). That logic that the reason why you cannot be involved with someone is because you both are too close, only exists in this skewed context. In no other area of reasoning can this logic be applied successfully. Its exactly like saying “My eyes are too open, therefore I cannot see”, “this car is too fast, we can only move slowly”, “that guy is too smart, I can’t hire him”.
As Christians, we need to understand that life works according to a pre-set order and process. Anything that jumps or skips that process will still pay later. Many of us would rather be swept off our feet by some dude who knows little or nothing about us and who we know nothing about, but does everything to impress us than cultivate a very vibrant and working relationship with a guy who has shown a considerable level of commitment, loyalty, openness, sincerity and respect in his dealings with us. The sad part is that what he thought would be additions for him in landing the “job” has, unknown to him become his disqualification. He’s too smart for the job! Please kindly note that i speak to guys in this respect as well.
This is fundamental to making very sound relationship decisions beloved. I care to know the “spirit” that mentioned his name to you or showed you a vision, I care to know the “word” you received, but I also care to know that you juxtaposed all the “receivings” with real time reality checks. If you received him in a dream and got a word, but the brother beats you up and has no respect for you, what you have received is “letter”, and the Bible says it killeth. For every word given, there is The Spirit of life to back it up. Never go into a relationship with your eyes closed and only in friendship can these invaluable knowledge and light be gleaned. I have seen this major carelessness ruin many relationships and marriages today. Someone got carried away with finesse and forgot about character before saying “I do”, so now all we hear is “I’m done”.
True friends hardly ever divorce, because only at the level of friendship can one learn forgiveness, acceptance, openness and companionship. But when what we have is a “contract” with a guy who is supposed to “satisfy” all our relationship and security needs, we ultimately revoke the contract because 10 out of 10 times, a breach is inevitable.
(Removes bloody gloves) So, I hope that one big cow has been killed, we would not be able to kill more than one sacred cow today… Please join me in the next post as we continue in this short Valentine series.
Meanwhile, cultivate the ambers of love with the coals of friendship. It may not burn as boisterously red as the passionate flings and one offs, it may be a blue, gentle flame, but stick with it and it will burn forever.
Have a beautiful valentine season.